1 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:06,382 In the closing months of the war between the states, 2 00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:07,868 ultimate victory has been reduced 3 00:00:07,892 --> 00:00:09,436 to a question of supply. 4 00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:11,888 Nowhere are shortages felt more keenly 5 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,357 than in the headquarters tent 6 00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,125 of a certain general of the Union Armies. 7 00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:17,994 Where's my laundry? 8 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,330 I'll, uh, send Parmenter 9 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,782 for it immediately, sir. 10 00:00:21,806 --> 00:00:24,151 Wilton Parmenter, Quartermaster Corps, 11 00:00:24,175 --> 00:00:25,986 member of a proud Philadelphia family 12 00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:27,687 with great military traditions. 13 00:00:27,711 --> 00:00:29,890 He, too, has found a place to serve: 14 00:00:29,914 --> 00:00:33,115 private in charge of officer's laundry. 15 00:00:33,884 --> 00:00:35,712 And no starch! 16 00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,747 Parmenter has come through with the underwear 17 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:38,748 many times under fire. 18 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:39,966 An awesome responsibility. 19 00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:42,302 But this time, fate takes a hand. 20 00:00:42,326 --> 00:00:44,888 An excess of pollen fills the air. 21 00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,773 Ke-char! 22 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,142 You heard him, men! Charge! 23 00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:52,378 And so, within a matter of days, 24 00:00:52,402 --> 00:00:53,897 victory came to the Union forces. 25 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,900 And Wilton Parmenter, Quartermaster Corps, 26 00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,501 became a man of destiny, 27 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:01,288 the Scourge of Appomattox. 28 00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,156 Members of the Parmenter family 29 00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:04,758 assembled to observe the ceremonies 30 00:01:04,782 --> 00:01:06,793 honoring Wilton Parmenter. 31 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:10,630 Wilton's first cousin, Major Achilles Parmenter. 32 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,098 His second cousin, 33 00:01:12,122 --> 00:01:14,601 Lieutenant Colonel Hercules Parmenter. 34 00:01:14,625 --> 00:01:18,271 His uncle, Colonel Jupiter Parmenter. 35 00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:21,274 And his father, General Thor X. Parmenter. 36 00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:22,742 Heroes, all. 37 00:01:22,766 --> 00:01:25,111 In splendid tradition, they gathered here to pay honor 38 00:01:25,135 --> 00:01:27,180 to another member of the Parmenter family: 39 00:01:27,204 --> 00:01:30,567 Wilton Parmenter, the Scourge of Appomattox. 40 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,902 They watch proudly as he stepped forward 41 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,271 to receive his just reward... 42 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,845 from a grateful country. 43 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:47,451 Promotion to captain, the Medal of Honor... 44 00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:56,993 and the Purple Heart. 45 00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,729 He was the only soldier in history ever to get a medal 46 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,531 for getting a medal. 47 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,667 Well, Parmenter, we've got to find an assignment 48 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,685 befitting the Scourge of Appomattox 49 00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:08,054 Sir, they've gone through three commanding officers 50 00:02:08,078 --> 00:02:09,155 at Fort Courage. 51 00:02:09,179 --> 00:02:11,691 Two desertions and a... nervous breakdown. 52 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:12,992 Fort Courage, eh? 53 00:02:13,016 --> 00:02:15,416 Ah, good thinking, Wormsbecker. 54 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,097 At a frontier post like that, 55 00:02:18,121 --> 00:02:20,300 he might be just the inspirational leader they need. 56 00:02:20,324 --> 00:02:23,169 Captain Parmenter, as of this moment, 57 00:02:23,193 --> 00:02:26,490 you are the commanding officer of F Troop. 58 00:03:55,252 --> 00:03:56,252 Come in. 59 00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:02,435 Oh, good morning, sergeant, corporal. 60 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,454 Sir, Sergeant O'Rourke and Corporal Agarn 61 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,789 reporting for duty. 62 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,990 Uh, F Troop is assembled for 63 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,458 the captain's first inspection. 64 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,310 Good. Good. 65 00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:11,645 May I, sir? 66 00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,184 Oh, yes. Yes. 67 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:15,932 Yeah. 68 00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:19,703 Ah, thank you, sergeant. Thank you. 69 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,571 Oh, just one moment. 70 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,872 I'd... 71 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,874 I'd like to hang up this picture of my family. 72 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,665 We'd be honored, sir. 73 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,546 Ah, Major Achilles Parmenter, 74 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,616 Lieutenant Colonel Hercules Parmenter, 75 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,601 Colonel Jupiter Parmenter, 76 00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:36,002 General Thor Parmenter. 77 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:39,105 And now, Captain Wilton Parmenter. 78 00:04:42,332 --> 00:04:44,427 Uh, m-m-mickanawa what? 79 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,796 Oh, that's, uh, Hekawi, sir. Uh, Indian. 80 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,633 It means, "Scourge of the West." 81 00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,835 Oh, no. No, no. I was never west before. 82 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,670 I wa... I was called the sc... 83 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,039 I'm afraid the captain's reputation has preceded him. 84 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,340 It has? Oh, yes, sir. 85 00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:58,808 Corporal Agarn. 86 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,376 Would you see that the troop is ready 87 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,728 for the captain's inspection. 88 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,371 Oh. 89 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:15,246 Uh... "Reveille." "Reveille"... Ah! Uh... 90 00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:19,946 Okay. 91 00:05:19,970 --> 00:05:21,247 Are... Are you hurt, sir? 92 00:05:21,271 --> 00:05:23,004 I'm all right, sergeant. 93 00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:27,826 Ha. I-I fall down a lot. 94 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,440 You know... 95 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,275 You know, my... My father used to say that... 96 00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:36,212 That I had more left feet than any kid in Philadelphia. 97 00:05:39,656 --> 00:05:41,735 Well, for a... For a general, that's pretty funny. 98 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:43,569 Oh, yes. 99 00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:47,606 Sergeant... 100 00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:49,550 it's time for me to take command. 101 00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:04,890 All right, now, let's look alive. 102 00:06:04,914 --> 00:06:06,326 It's all you have to do all day, 103 00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:07,877 so let's do it right! 104 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:10,212 Svigson! 105 00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:13,438 If you're awake, let your face know about it. 106 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:20,723 Gravy stains, Duddleson? Gravy stains? 107 00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,267 Look at you! You're a mess! 108 00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:28,970 Forget it. 109 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,959 F Troop all present and accounted for, sir. 110 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,282 Good work, corporal. 111 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,253 Men... 112 00:06:46,190 --> 00:06:47,838 you're in the army now. 113 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,022 I, uh... 114 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:55,486 have never heard that put so well, sir. 115 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:02,649 Heh. Good. Good work, corporal. 116 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:05,051 Oh. Oh, uh, sergeant, I've been meaning to ask you. 117 00:07:05,075 --> 00:07:06,886 How come we have "Reveille" at 10:00? 118 00:07:06,910 --> 00:07:09,188 Now, back East, when I was in the Quartermaster Corps, 119 00:07:09,212 --> 00:07:10,723 we had "Reveille" at 7. 120 00:07:10,747 --> 00:07:12,424 Yo, but that captain is forgetting 121 00:07:12,448 --> 00:07:14,727 there's a... A three-hour time difference. 122 00:07:15,919 --> 00:07:16,896 Of course. 123 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,197 Yes. 124 00:07:18,221 --> 00:07:19,821 Beg your pardon. Mm. 125 00:07:37,774 --> 00:07:40,486 Solider, you've got a button missing. 126 00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:43,122 Yes, sir. It's been missing for over a month. 127 00:07:43,146 --> 00:07:45,124 Oh. 128 00:07:45,148 --> 00:07:47,026 Well... keep looking. 129 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,794 It's bound to be around someplace. 130 00:07:48,818 --> 00:07:51,231 Mail call for Fort Courage! 131 00:07:51,255 --> 00:07:53,135 Pick it up at the trading post! 132 00:07:58,962 --> 00:08:00,423 Eh, troop dismissed. 133 00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:30,820 Ashby. 134 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,821 Billy. 135 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,556 Fleischman. 136 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,525 Captain, I'd like to present to you, 137 00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,043 Miss Jane Angelica Thrift. 138 00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:39,245 Janey, this is Captain Wilton Parmenter. 139 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,747 I'm happy to know you, Miss Thrift. 140 00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,782 Shucks. You just call me Wrangler. 141 00:08:42,806 --> 00:08:43,850 Or Janey. 142 00:08:43,874 --> 00:08:45,919 I run the trading post here in town. 143 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:48,588 Oh, we'll be seeing something of each other, I imagine. 144 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,924 You can bet a bucket of buzzards we will. 145 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,268 Here. This was right on top of the heap. 146 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,428 Dispatch from Washington. 147 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:58,412 Oh. Well, what do you suppose they want? 148 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,001 Oh, ser-sergeant, 149 00:09:03,025 --> 00:09:05,371 we've got to get things straightened up around the post. 150 00:09:05,395 --> 00:09:06,572 Company's coming tomorrow. 151 00:09:06,596 --> 00:09:07,573 Oh? 152 00:09:07,597 --> 00:09:09,275 Yes, a Second Lieutenant Hawkes 153 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,210 from the Inspector General's office. 154 00:09:11,234 --> 00:09:12,712 Darn it, I just got here yesterday. 155 00:09:12,736 --> 00:09:14,046 Oh, well, 156 00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,948 now, don't you worry about a thing, captain. 157 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,551 We'll have everything as slick as a greasy whistle. 158 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,594 Be seeing you around, captain. 159 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,492 Well, I'm sure the captain wants to prepare himself 160 00:09:26,516 --> 00:09:27,594 for the inspection. 161 00:09:27,618 --> 00:09:28,828 The sergeant is right, sir. 162 00:09:28,852 --> 00:09:30,529 Well, I guess I could go check my manual. 163 00:09:30,553 --> 00:09:32,699 It's bound to have something in it about what you do 164 00:09:32,723 --> 00:09:34,166 with a second lieutenant. Yeah. 165 00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:36,140 Ah. Dobbs! 166 00:09:37,527 --> 00:09:39,556 From now on, you're the captain's orderly. 167 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,624 He'll see you to your quarters, captain. 168 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:44,128 Good. Good. Uh, thank you, sergeant. 169 00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:47,275 Right this way, captain. 170 00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:51,940 Excuse me. 171 00:09:54,077 --> 00:09:56,656 And to think, that little guy is a Parmenter. 172 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,424 I tell you, sarge, he's the pigeon 173 00:09:58,448 --> 00:09:59,992 we've always dreamed of. 174 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,494 Yeah, and now we get him. 175 00:10:02,552 --> 00:10:04,363 "Scourge of the West." 176 00:10:04,387 --> 00:10:06,666 Man coming out from the Inspector General's office, 177 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,668 that could be the end of O'Rourke Enterprises. 178 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,069 Sending in those phony reports 179 00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:12,538 about knocking off two tribes in two weeks. 180 00:10:12,562 --> 00:10:15,475 Drawing rations for 30 men when we only got 17. 181 00:10:15,499 --> 00:10:17,409 I tell you something, if that snoop finds out 182 00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:19,078 how peaceful it really is around here, 183 00:10:19,102 --> 00:10:21,080 they'll be no more Fort Courage. 184 00:10:23,573 --> 00:10:25,184 A hundred and five. 185 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:26,886 I think I'm gonna be sick. 186 00:10:26,910 --> 00:10:29,188 I am sick! 187 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,378 Come on! 188 00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:35,027 Huh. 189 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,296 Look at all this beautiful loot. 190 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,299 Arrows, quivers, bows, shields, tomahawks. 191 00:10:40,323 --> 00:10:42,334 Two hundred souvenir war bonnets. 192 00:10:42,358 --> 00:10:44,169 Four barrels of perfumed war paint. 193 00:10:44,193 --> 00:10:47,106 What's the use in counting all this stuff, sarge? 194 00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,574 When that lieutenant gets here... 195 00:10:48,598 --> 00:10:50,009 Hey, wait a minute! 196 00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:52,444 Is that all the whiskey I got? 197 00:10:52,468 --> 00:10:54,246 Now, how do you expect me to run a saloon 198 00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:55,548 with a half a case of whiskey? 199 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,282 I told you, sarge. Chief Wild Eagle says 200 00:10:57,306 --> 00:10:58,885 they need a copper coil for the still. 201 00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,219 All right, get one. 202 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:01,687 Tell supply it's something to... 203 00:11:01,711 --> 00:11:03,244 That'll repair the cannon with. 204 00:11:04,981 --> 00:11:06,392 What did you say? 205 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,393 The still's busted. 206 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,995 No! Who said it? 207 00:11:09,019 --> 00:11:10,496 Chief Wild Eagle. 208 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,498 Wild Eagle. Huh? Oh, that's the answer. 209 00:11:12,522 --> 00:11:13,933 To what? 210 00:11:13,957 --> 00:11:16,402 Listen. I got rid of two captains and a major, didn't I? 211 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:17,637 Yeah. 212 00:11:17,661 --> 00:11:19,972 Now, I ought to be able to handle one nosy lieutenant 213 00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:21,774 from the Inspector General's office. 214 00:11:21,798 --> 00:11:24,209 Uh, tonight, you and I pay a visit 215 00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:26,278 to the bloodthirsty Hekawi. 216 00:11:37,346 --> 00:11:40,092 Wild Eagle, my brother. 217 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,729 You some brother. 218 00:11:43,753 --> 00:11:45,887 Still, still busted. 219 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:50,068 How you expect Hekawi make firewater? 220 00:11:50,092 --> 00:11:52,571 We'll get you a new coil. And when we do, 221 00:11:52,595 --> 00:11:54,573 stop holding out liquor for the tribe. 222 00:11:54,597 --> 00:11:56,876 Indians ain't supposed to drink alcohol. 223 00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,844 Who says so? 224 00:11:58,868 --> 00:12:00,546 Everybody. Yeah. 225 00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:02,681 Ah, that just nasty rumor, 226 00:12:02,705 --> 00:12:05,584 spread by sister-in-law, Sparkling Water. 227 00:12:05,608 --> 00:12:09,911 She one big bluenose redskin. 228 00:12:11,013 --> 00:12:13,158 Bluenose redskin. 229 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,265 Wild Eagle make funny joke! 230 00:12:22,124 --> 00:12:23,335 Listen, W.E. 231 00:12:23,359 --> 00:12:24,603 There's a snoop lieutenant 232 00:12:24,627 --> 00:12:26,138 coming out here from Washington. 233 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,507 And we gotta convince him we're having Injun trouble. 234 00:12:28,531 --> 00:12:29,909 So how about attacking the fort? 235 00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:31,009 Attack you? Yeah. 236 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:32,344 You honorary Hekawi. 237 00:12:32,368 --> 00:12:33,813 No, chief, not a real fight. 238 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,280 We'll shoot over your heads, 239 00:12:35,304 --> 00:12:36,549 you shoot over ours. 240 00:12:36,573 --> 00:12:37,950 What are friends for? 241 00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,553 Okay, look, I-I'll fire the cannon as a signal, 242 00:12:40,577 --> 00:12:42,321 and you just run up and make a lot of noise. 243 00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:43,322 Nobody gets hurt. 244 00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,458 You got wrong tribe, brother. 245 00:12:45,482 --> 00:12:48,727 Hekawis not fight. Theys invent peace pipe. 246 00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:51,363 Hekawis not mad at nobody. 247 00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:53,365 Listen, Wild Eagle, either you're gonna fight 248 00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:55,367 or you're gonna go back to hunting and fishing. 249 00:12:55,391 --> 00:12:56,802 And weaving your own blankets! 250 00:12:56,826 --> 00:12:58,337 We fight. Ah. 251 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,205 Wait. What? 252 00:13:00,229 --> 00:13:02,007 How we fight? 253 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,809 Must do war dance first. 254 00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:04,977 All right, so do war dance. 255 00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,579 Not remember war dance. 256 00:13:06,603 --> 00:13:07,869 Hekawi too peaceful. 257 00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:13,185 Hey. 258 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:16,288 Any you boys remember war dance? 259 00:13:18,781 --> 00:13:21,193 See? Nobody remember war dance. 260 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,428 Hey, how about the medicine man? 261 00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:26,353 Him big quack, but I ask. All right. 262 00:13:28,157 --> 00:13:30,424 Hey! Roaring Chicken! 263 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,222 Somebody sick? 264 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,711 Need soup? 265 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,519 Come on double. We hold powwow. 266 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,740 Powwow? 267 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:52,975 What is "powwow?" 268 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,678 Oh, he's gonna be a lot of help. 269 00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,079 Have a little respect, will you? 270 00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,247 Why... he's old enough to be your father. 271 00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:02,535 Him very old Eastern boy. Come from good family in Ohio. 272 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,370 Doc. 273 00:14:04,394 --> 00:14:07,290 You ever see war dance? 274 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,924 Oh. 275 00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,827 I see war dance many moons ago. 276 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,247 Many, many, many moons. 277 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,882 You and your moons. 278 00:14:15,906 --> 00:14:17,183 When? 279 00:14:17,207 --> 00:14:19,974 Forty-two years ago, last August. 280 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:23,956 War dance very much like, um, 281 00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:26,180 rain dance, only drier. 282 00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:29,161 You run around fire. 283 00:14:29,185 --> 00:14:31,731 You jump up and down... Ah! 284 00:14:31,755 --> 00:14:33,666 Hm. And look savage. 285 00:14:33,690 --> 00:14:35,351 That ain't no war dance! 286 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,585 No? 287 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,487 No. Look, sarge, 288 00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,289 you and the chief get your signal straight 289 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,656 about the cannon. 290 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,859 I'll take the boys and show them how to do a war dance. 291 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,067 All right, come on you braves. Follow me. 292 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:55,988 Nice, bouncy four. 293 00:14:56,012 --> 00:14:59,558 One and two and three and four... 294 00:15:04,854 --> 00:15:06,954 Come on, boys. What's the life? 295 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:20,200 Hear me, Shug warriors. 296 00:15:20,803 --> 00:15:21,781 No kill. 297 00:15:21,805 --> 00:15:23,783 Follow. 298 00:15:23,807 --> 00:15:25,684 They lead us to fort. 299 00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:27,619 Shugs attack. 300 00:15:27,643 --> 00:15:30,778 We kill... many paleface. 301 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,418 All right, now you get this straight. 302 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,686 When them Hekawis attack, you aim over their heads. 303 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,256 And if you shake loose so much as one feather, 304 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,425 I'll transfer you all to another outfit. 305 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,459 A fighting outfit. 306 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,460 Right. 307 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:54,001 Hey fellas, here comes the inspector. 308 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,372 Troop... attention. 309 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,346 Present arms. 310 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:16,953 Lieutenant Jefferson Hawkes reporting, sir, 311 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,643 on orders from the Inspector General. 312 00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:23,308 Put up... arms! 313 00:16:23,332 --> 00:16:24,326 Is this all of F troop? 314 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:25,694 Oh no, no. 315 00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,830 No, uh, Franklin's upstairs doing sentry duty. 316 00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,715 We're pretty military around here. 317 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:31,300 Would you like to inspect the troop? 318 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,252 You draw rations and pay allotments for 30 men. 319 00:16:33,276 --> 00:16:34,670 Where are the others? 320 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,121 Yeah, they're out on, uh, patrol. 321 00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:37,690 That's right. That's right. 322 00:16:37,714 --> 00:16:40,158 Uh, they've been out on that patrol since before I got here. 323 00:16:40,182 --> 00:16:41,260 That's interesting. 324 00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:43,362 How do they draw their rations and pay? 325 00:16:43,386 --> 00:16:45,348 Oh, they're Indian scouts. 326 00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,015 They sneak in during the dead of night. 327 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:48,517 Sneak out before dawn. 328 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:49,751 Oh? 329 00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:50,936 Oh. 330 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,271 Mm. 331 00:16:52,295 --> 00:16:54,940 Sir! The troops are waiting to be dismissed. Mm. 332 00:16:54,964 --> 00:16:56,480 Good. You're dismissed. 333 00:16:58,584 --> 00:16:59,628 Come on, lieutenant, 334 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:02,132 I'll show you to your quarters. 335 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,350 Gee, I'm glad you're here. 336 00:17:05,374 --> 00:17:07,203 Maybe you and I can have an officers' club. 337 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:10,461 Captain, I got this as a welcoming present for you. 338 00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:13,759 Put your initials on it myself. 339 00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:16,784 Oh. Well, will you look at that? 340 00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:19,064 Oh. 341 00:17:19,088 --> 00:17:21,967 This is nice and slippery for a fast draw, see. 342 00:17:21,991 --> 00:17:23,686 Oh, thank you, Janey. 343 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,638 Gee, isn't that something? Gorgeous. 344 00:17:25,662 --> 00:17:28,140 S-say, why... Why don't we all go inside 345 00:17:28,164 --> 00:17:30,524 and have a nice chat? 346 00:17:33,202 --> 00:17:34,647 Who did that?! 347 00:17:34,671 --> 00:17:37,282 Oh, oh! Captain, captain. My goodness. 348 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,151 There's an awful lot of Indians out there. 349 00:17:39,175 --> 00:17:41,776 The ferocious Hekawis are about to attack. 350 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,483 Injun attack. 351 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,816 Uh, uh... Uh, Dobbs, blow the charge. 352 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,252 The attack. Uh... Blow the bugle. 353 00:18:05,535 --> 00:18:07,479 What happened? Nobody fired the cannon? 354 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,748 Oh, them dumb Hekawis. They don't do anything right! 355 00:18:09,772 --> 00:18:10,871 Ahh! 356 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,311 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 357 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:23,746 You ain't supposed to be in here! 358 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,314 The fight's outside the other gate. 359 00:18:26,389 --> 00:18:28,522 Ah! "Kemano-shish negood" yourself. 360 00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:32,326 And get the still fixed! 361 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,604 Yes. Indian attack... 362 00:18:47,777 --> 00:18:48,821 Yeah. 363 00:18:48,845 --> 00:18:51,140 Ah... Yeah. There, there, there. 364 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,650 Will you look at them Hekawis. 365 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,285 Like a bunch of wild Indians. 366 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,249 Hey, what are you trying to do, kill somebody? 367 00:19:17,273 --> 00:19:19,384 Well, ain't that the general idea? 368 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,137 Already got three of them. 369 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,071 What am I gonna tell the chief? 370 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,473 She'll wipe out the whole tribe. 371 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,608 Hey, uh, hold out now. 372 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,576 Cut out now, will you, Wrangler, please? 373 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,600 Cut that out. 374 00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:32,803 Hopping horn toads! 375 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,250 Hey, they sure missed you close. 376 00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:37,754 Some Hekawis are getting good. 377 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:42,074 What do you mean, Hekawis? They're the Shugs. 378 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,776 The Shugs! 379 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,044 Commence firing. 380 00:19:45,068 --> 00:19:47,628 But for real. It's the Shug. 381 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,920 Dobbs, where's my sword? 382 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,984 It's right there in the umbrella stand. 383 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:04,969 Oh, captain. 384 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:09,873 Charge! 385 00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:23,064 Charge! 386 00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:24,221 Captain! 387 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,690 Won't you need this part? 388 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:37,129 Hey, somebody get that arrow out of there. 389 00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,633 Yeah, I'll take care of it, sergeant. 390 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,179 Whoa-oh! 391 00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:56,520 Whoa! 392 00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,309 Captain Parmenter, look out! 393 00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:05,657 Captain Parmenter! Scourge of the West! 394 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:06,658 Run! 395 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,402 Hey, they're retreating. 396 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:20,839 The captain scared them off! 397 00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,041 Ha-ha! 398 00:21:22,065 --> 00:21:24,009 Hooray! 399 00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,170 Oh, yes, sir. 400 00:21:52,194 --> 00:21:54,673 We'll call them trophies of the Shug War. 401 00:21:54,697 --> 00:21:57,909 Genuine Indian headdresses taken in hand-to-hand combat. 402 00:21:57,933 --> 00:22:00,278 Tomtoms. Feels like tomtoms. 403 00:22:00,302 --> 00:22:01,580 We'll print a little booklet 404 00:22:01,604 --> 00:22:03,148 about the long and bloody campaign. 405 00:22:03,172 --> 00:22:04,583 I can see it now. 406 00:22:04,607 --> 00:22:07,219 My War with the Shugs by Morgan O'Rourke, as told... 407 00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:09,822 Will you cut that out. The battle's over. 408 00:22:09,846 --> 00:22:10,823 A hundred and seven. 409 00:22:10,847 --> 00:22:12,458 Have a ballad written. 410 00:22:12,482 --> 00:22:15,060 It'll be played in every saloon west of the Mississippi River. 411 00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:17,128 "The Legend of Morgan O'Rourke." 412 00:22:17,152 --> 00:22:19,297 Oh, we'll clean up. Hey, make a note of that, Agarn. 413 00:22:19,321 --> 00:22:20,699 Get somebody who'll work cheap. 414 00:22:20,723 --> 00:22:23,435 Sarge. My heart. Feel my heart. 415 00:22:23,459 --> 00:22:24,436 Will you stop that? 416 00:22:24,460 --> 00:22:26,738 Now, Agarn, just think for a minute. 417 00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:29,274 In a few days, the still will be finished. 418 00:22:29,298 --> 00:22:31,376 That snoop lieutenant will be gone. 419 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,779 And O'Rourke Enterprises will be back in business. 420 00:22:34,803 --> 00:22:35,780 Sarge. What? 421 00:22:35,804 --> 00:22:38,483 What happened to the Hekawis? 422 00:22:38,507 --> 00:22:39,984 That Shug arrow you took in the hat 423 00:22:40,008 --> 00:22:42,153 must have gone through your memory too. 424 00:22:42,177 --> 00:22:44,289 That's right. The cannon. 425 00:22:44,313 --> 00:22:46,525 Uh-huh. No signal, no Hekawi attack. 426 00:22:46,549 --> 00:22:47,959 But now we're back in business. 427 00:22:47,983 --> 00:22:50,596 No more worries, no more cares. 428 00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,231 With Captain Wilton Parmenter, 429 00:22:52,255 --> 00:22:54,575 the Scourge of the West, in command. 430 00:22:56,024 --> 00:22:58,136 Hey we'll take inventory tomorrow. Come on. 431 00:23:11,574 --> 00:23:12,784 Sergeant asked me 432 00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:14,386 to give you this report, captain. 433 00:23:14,410 --> 00:23:16,355 "Shugs lost 24 men. 434 00:23:16,379 --> 00:23:18,928 We got seven. And Miss Wrangler got 17." 435 00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:22,410 Well, uh, what did we loose? 436 00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:24,480 One ladder. 437 00:23:24,504 --> 00:23:27,149 Ah. And I busted my good sword. 438 00:23:27,173 --> 00:23:29,039 Hm. Five o'clock. 439 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,072 Why, don't you have a retreat at this post? 440 00:23:33,096 --> 00:23:35,507 What? We won. Why should we... 441 00:23:35,531 --> 00:23:37,842 Oh, oh, oh. That kind of retreat... 442 00:23:37,866 --> 00:23:39,078 Ta-taking down the flag. 443 00:23:39,102 --> 00:23:41,662 Let's go, Hannibal. 444 00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:47,569 Captain, I can't play retreat. 445 00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:49,371 That's the one I don't know how to play yet. 446 00:23:49,395 --> 00:23:51,090 What do you usually play? 447 00:23:51,114 --> 00:23:52,458 "Yankee Doodle," sir. 448 00:23:52,482 --> 00:23:54,125 Oh. 449 00:23:54,149 --> 00:23:56,294 Well, that's nice. 450 00:23:56,318 --> 00:23:58,769 You play that, and I'll shoot the cannon. 451 00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:09,190 Captain, don't do that! 452 00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:10,542 That's the signal. 453 00:24:10,566 --> 00:24:12,627 Don't fire the cannon. It'll wreck everything! 454 00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:14,730 Here, captain, you don't know what you're doing. 455 00:24:14,754 --> 00:24:16,231 Sorry, men, it's time for retreat. 456 00:24:16,255 --> 00:24:18,021 Back! 457 00:24:29,602 --> 00:24:31,964 Captain! The Hekawis are attacking. 458 00:24:31,988 --> 00:24:34,383 To the parapets. Charge!